One of the things that men and women have in common is the absolute need to be loved and to love in return. Emotional intimacy, a joining together of the spirit rather than the flesh, is how this love is conceived. Every human being depends on this process – and it is not a process at all – that makes it sound too mechanical; there's too much chemistry and magic involved. Any, every human being depends on a certain amount of emotional integrity to maintain balance and happiness and just to survive from day to day.
Where men differ from women is in their ability to have sexual intimate without emotional intelligence. The link between the two is not as important for many men. It may be desirable for them to have emotional intelligence with their lovers, and it may mean a more pleasurable sexual experience, but if it's absent, that's OK too.
Sure, there are women too who could care less about emotional integrity, sex is what's important to them. And there are men who demand emotional intelligence before they'll even think about loosing their neckties. There are no hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. But most men tend to give emotional integrity a lower priority.
This can become a natural source of conflict between men and women. When a women's need for emotional integrity is not fulfilled, either before or after sexual intimidation, frustration and disappointment can set in. "What's wrong with him?" Egypt "What's wrong with me?" are the kinds of questions that bubble to the surface. And in reality, there is nothing wrong with either of them.
Men move toward emotional integrity at a slower pace than women do. They'll probably get there, but it will not be in record breaking time.
I can recollect from my dating years that for the most part, women seem to be in such a hurry to move the date into a relationship. Usually the first date will go good, next thing I knew, she would be making plans for us like we were a couple. "We'll go here ……… we'll go there ………… we'll do this ……." We were barely more than strangers, really, and now all of the mystery – WE "RE A COUPLE! I found that she would see a permanent relationship form long before I did. And we would be moving down the road of emotional intelligence at two completely different speeds.
A first date is not grounds for rushing to the mall and registering your fine china pattern. Slow down. I'm not talking about playing hard to get, for that is a throwback to whole other era. I believe in being reasonably honest and upfront about your feelings. Men are not scared off by straight talk, but they do get nervous when control seems to be slipping away. Finding out that you are already a couple before the popcorn gets cold and before the film's opening credits are done can be a bit surprising to men.
Unfortunately, there is no reliable formula for turning on the valve and letting emotional intelligence flow. Certainly, the first date is too early. Look for signs that his need for emotional intent is beginning to ignite, but do not confuse this with his need for sexual intimidation – that's already burning.
Source by Don W Bernard