We’ve all been there whether we want to admit it or not. The blind date. Whether you have chatted with the person previously or a friend had an additional dinner guest you weren’t expecting, it can be a daunting experience to say the least.
Am I being sexist by thinking only women need safety tips? Not really. Most men can easily overpower a woman in manual strength alone. However, many of these tips can also be appreciated by men as well.
Meeting someone for the first time is never easy. You don’t really know what to expect other than anything you may have learned during previous discussions online or even on the phone. And that’s where reality can be skewed into something akin to a paranormal experience. – if you aren’t prepared.
I speak from experience. And I speak for many of my (at the time) single friends who shared with me one horrendous tale after another about first dates and even relationships that went bad after months of seemingly being on the right track.
Years ago I tried the online dating scene. Date after date turned into nothing more than a string of needy losers, a few of whom bordered on sociopathic. I’ll never forget Phil, one of my first blind dates, who decided I’d be the perfect wife because I owned a house and I could cook. He wanted to marry me so he could move in with his bedridden mother and he expected me to quit my job and stay home to care for her. Even after I told him to leave me alone and stop calling, he still showed up at my house one Saturday morning with a U-Haul truck – and his mother. I needed to call the police to handle the situation.
If I learned nothing else after that episode, I learned never to have a stranger pick me up at home, and never divulge my address to anyone.
After learning many more lessons during later attempts at online dating, I realized there are ways to do it right, and ways that will likely lead to trouble. The following are the best ways to try to stay safe when meeting a new date – no matter how well you think you know him.
· Set up an email to be used solely for this purpose; don’t use your regular account. If anything happens you can always completely cancel this new email account – something I’d never recommend for the one you have used for years.
· Download an app that allows you to have multiple phone numbers on your phone. Never give out your real phone number. Many of these apps also allow texting.
· Tell your friends where you will be and when, and give them all the contact info you have for your date as well. It’s a good idea, too, to “check in” using your Facebook account to have a record of where you are. The GPS system will automatically show a map of the location and name of the place.
· Always meet in a busy public place – a restaurant, community get together such as a block party, museum, or even the movies. Refuse invites like “why not come over for a drink beforehand?”.
· Also refuse invites to a party. You never know how many people will be there – it could be just the two of you. Bad idea.
· Make sure you meet somewhere that has good cell reception, and make sure your phone is charged.
· Never let him pick you up. Drive yourself. Avoid large parking lots and garages. Use Valet Parking whenever possible even if you have to pay. This prevents the need to have anyone walk you back to your car.
· Avoid details about where you live. Do mention things like your three roommates or your brother who lives next door.
· Carry either pepper spray or a personal taser and be able to grab it quickly in case you need to. Avoid trying to be macho with a knife or something similar. Unless you are skilled in the use of actual defense weapons, trust me, the weapon will be used on you instead as you panic during an assault.
· If you are going to an unfamiliar place, check it out ahead of time either online or, much better, in person. This gives you the chance to know where you can park if there is no Valet, what you can eat, and even the opportunity to say no to the location completely.
· Make sure you understand the finances for the evening. Long gone are the days where a woman can simply assume the man will be picking up the tab for the entire evening. You don’t want to be in the uncomfortable position of being asked to cover an unexpected bar bill before dinner.
· Never leave your drink unattended and if at all possible have cocktails delivered to the table rather than having your date retrieve them from the bar. Getting drugged like this is fairly rare in established restaurants, however, it’s all too common in bars where the younger crowds hang out (near colleges for instance).
· Last but not least – if you are uncomfortable at any point, for whatever reason, simply make your excuses and leave. Period.
Stay safe out there!
Source by Marie Duffoo