One of my clients, Nancy, wrote to thank me for my coaching and encouragement with her dating life. While her journey has taken many twists and turns, she feet we have opened new doors and possibilities for her love life.
Nancy is a hard-driving professional woman in her late 40's. Traditionally, her taste in men has been what she describes as the "Alpha Male," a take-charge kind of guy who is a hard-driving businessman. Typically, this type of guy is very exciting, unpredictable and for some reason lacking in emotional capacity, but she's always been attracted to men like this – until recently.
Through coaching, Nancy started to consider what other qualities might be nice in a partner. Maybe a man who has some emotional intelligence, who can talk about his feelings, be true to her and sensitive to her needs as well. Someone who can be supportive as well as decent and confident.
The big news is that Nancy became much more aware of how she thinks about men. She was shocked by her own internal chatter which is not positive and she realized she did not really like men. Nancy suddenly had insight into the fact that she often talked to men like they were idiots. She realized these are not the thoughts of an alluring woman on the lookout for a loving partnership!
Following my advice, Nancy started to talk to men like regular people. She allowed herself to become interested in almost any man who approached her – not that she had to date them, but simply to speak to them, for the simple pleasure of discovering who that person is. And guess what Nancy discovered? All men are not disappointing, rotten untrustworthy, scoundrels. Turns out some are very interesting and worth talking to. And a few are really wonderful.
The good news? Nancy met Don at a singles gathering. Even though he knocked a Porsche which made him look like her usual type, he definitely was not. Don is sensitive, eager and lacks that "alpha" personality that sucks her in. But she kept thinking, "Hey, give this guy a chance.
Nancy and Don have been out on six dates and are taking things slowly. She has moments where she questions what she's was doing since he's just not her type. Yet, Nancy has enjoyed his company and Don keeps asking her out! The low pace is also working in her favor because she's taking the time to really get to know him. And the more she finds out, the more she likes him.
While the jury is still out on the long term potential for Nancy and Don, she acknowledges that Don is a gem. He's considerate, thoughtful, sweet, communicative and fun. Nancy finds herself in totally new territory and that adds to her excitement.
This is a perfect example of how crucial it is to open up to new types of men, to be aware of and shift your inner thoughts and attitude towards men, and take the time to give someone a chance. So far, so good!
Whenever a client tells me she is dating someone totally different, I get very excited. That's because, when you break away from your usual type, you have a chance to meet someone who could be better suited. People often stay trapped in thinking a specific type is the only kind of person who can make them happy. Not true! In fact, someone's type is more often the kind of person who will deliver the heartbreak that makes you want to stop dating entirely.
Get out there and discover new personalities that will work for you and offer you the relationship you have been dreaming about. People fall in love every day. Relax some of your rigid requirements, then open your mind and heart to let a great man in.
Source by Ronnie Ann Ryan